Thanks to Cxxxxx-##, we have, over the past few months, had unfettered access to Carrick Eriskay, allowing us to not only complete all our usual off-season redecorating, repairs, maintenance and so on, but to also tackle some jobs that have been on the to-do list since the to-do list was first started – which was 12 years ago almost to the day.
Amongst such to-dos there’s always been ‘finishing off … in the roof void’ (loft space, if you prefer). Now the … is a variable with quite a number of instances, or values : ‘insulating pipework’, for example, or ‘labelling cable runs’ is another. But with the Home Report surveyor due to visit soon (as I type this, he’s been and gone), there was one job that had to be prioritized above all others : ‘Complete making good access boarding throughout the roof area – but not obstructing access to cables, pipes, ducting’.
If the time taken to carry out a task is proportionate to the number of words required to describe it, then there’s no doubt that this was indeed the most time-consuming task of all. That is the rule of thumb preferred by Denise, viz : ‘Build House’ – quick and easy, a month or two perhaps. By contrast : ‘Engage screwdriver bit in head of screw, align with axis of screw, simultaneously rotating and consistently applying pressure always in alignment with aforesaid axis, whilst avoiding variation in the angle of the bit relative to the screw, until the head of the screw is flush with the surface off the wood’ – now that’s a job that is likely to take years! QED
To be fair, it’s true that it did take – oh, I don’t know how many mornings, and one very last-minute afternoon, to get the job done – though there were an awful lot of screws, a lot of cursing aforsaid screws, though I did resort to an electric screw-driver. Ultimately, I managed to complete all those tasks that have sat on the to-do list for the past twelve years – though as Denise declines the offer of inspecting and approving the work, and the surveyor did no more than pop his head up through the hatch, the sole beneficiaries of my hidden talent for organising roof voids will be Carrick Eriskay’s new owners.